"Can I see your phone?"
“Yeah, hold on.”
earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
THESE PARENT BIRDS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE BIRDY DRAG QUEENS WITH FLAWLESS EYELINER AND THE BABY LOOKS LIKE AN UNFINISHED MUPPET AND I’M DEAD.
today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore
We’ve all had that awkward moment where we accidentally touched our friend’s boob
bus starts moving and you havent sat down yet
finally something I can eat.